4 helpful tips for telling your friends about your divorce

Getting divorced is never easy, and the process comes with myriad challenges. One of the hardest is breaking the news to other people. If you and your spouse are planning to get divorced, use the tips below to make breaking the news to friends as painless and possible.

4 helpful tips for telling your friends about your divorce

1. Gauge the situation

  • If you and your partner are splitting up amicably, it may be smart to tell friends together.
  • If you break the news to your friends as a couple, you won't force them to choose sides or make them feel as if one side is the enemy.
  • When both members of the couple are present, friends can get both sides of the story.
  • However, if you are in an adversarial situation, it's best to tell friends alone. You don't want to fight or be uncomfortable in front of them and make the situation even more awkward and tense.

2. Be prepared for a variety of reactions

  • You never know how a friend will react to the news of your divorce. Some may be sad because they liked your partner, while others will jump for joy.
  • The best way to prepare for reactions and ensuing conversations is to anticipate unexpected responses.
  • Don't place any expectations on the conversations, since people can throw you through a loop.
  • Make sure to listen to your friends and have a conversation with them, but don't let any emotional reactions or responses they have in the moment upset you.

3. Start with the closest friends first

  • Talking to the friends closest to you is usually the easiest. Start by breaking the news to the people with whom you feel most comfortable.
  • The first time you tell people, it might be difficult and awkward, but the next few times will get easier and easier. Practise with the people who know and love you.
  • If you do become emotional or slip up, the situation won't be uncomfortable, and they won't judge you.
  • Once you've told your closest friends, you'll feel more prepared to talk about the divorce more openly to other people.

4. Practise

  • Because talking about divorce is hard, you'll want to practise what you're going to say before you say it.
  • If you think about the words and sentences you plan to use, you'll be able to clearly express yourself and avoid stumbling over your words.
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