5 surefire ways to revive the flame in your relationship

July 28, 2015

You may not realize it, but perhaps you or your partner are inadvertently sabotaging your bond. Take these small, meaningful steps to ensure your relationship lasts for the long haul.

5 surefire ways to revive the flame in your relationship

It's not diamonds and flowers that make a relationship, but the little things. Like taking a Saturday afternoon to explore the countryside and stop at an out-of-the-way pub for lunch. Above all, it's learning through the years to accept your partner's shortcomings and to forgive one another for transgressions both large and small.

1. Cuddle in the morning

  • You may associate snuggling up with bedtime, and it is a lovely way to end the day. But cuddling in the morning will keep you feeling close to each other all day.
  • So set the alarm clock five minutes early and snuggle up.
  • You can talk, or not. What's important is that you both start the day connecting physically and feeling secure and loved.

2. Schedule time for lovemaking

  • Yes, you're both busy. But don't let it stand in the way of an activity that's so crucial to a loving relationship.
  • It may not be as spontaneous as you'd like, but there's something nice about looking forward to a night (or morning, or afternoon) of sex.

3. Always turn in together

  • This may take some compromise on both parts.
  • If your partner is tired, give up your nightly ritual (television, surfing the Internet, whatever) and follow him or her to bed at least a few nights a week.
  • Talk about the day, or simply snuggle up while each of you reads. And if you're the morning person, maybe you can stay up for something after the 10 p.m. news.
  • The point is to be together when the house is quiet and the demands of the day are done.

4. Make sure your bedroom is a sanctuary

  • Your bed is not the place to argue, bring up complicated subjects or discuss difficult parenting issues.
  • Your bed is a place for good things only – sleep, companionship, romance.
  • If it becomes a place for hard talks and criticism, one of you will eventually feel your bedroom is emotionally unsafe, and you'll start to avoid each other.
  • If this is already going on, you need to stop it – declare the bedroom a safe zone, and make sure all serious discussions take place earlier and elsewhere.

5. Pursue your own interests

  • Go ahead, take that writing class – or pursue any other interest you might have outside those you share with your partner.
  • It makes you more interesting to your partner and everyone else.
  • Moreover, a little "me time" allows both of you to grow as individuals and reduces the pressure on each of you to fill the other's every need.
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