8 tips to keep a sense of control when all goes wrong

July 28, 2015

  1. Iron something. Ironing is a relatively mindless activity that still provides very visible results. The sense of control you gain as you turn a crumpled ball of fabric into a crisp garment will carry over into other areas of your life.
  2. Take time to de-stress before addressing the maelstrom. Put your feet up, do some relaxation breathing, have a cup of tea. Calming yourself down is something you can do for yourself to help you to feel in control.
  3. When things feel out of control, clean a closet or a drawer. It puts you back in charge of at least some aspects of your life.
  4. Take up a new hobby. Mastering a new skill, whether it's paddling a kayak or learning to knit, will return a sense of control to your life.
  5. Build in contingencies. For instance, if you have an outdoor party planned for 20 people but it rains on the day. You can't control the weather, but you can control where you hold it (move it inside), when you hold it (postpone it) and how it's held (if you were planning a barbecue, prepare a couple of big lasagnas instead).
  6. When things feel chaotic, pick one thing in your life to work on where you can make a difference. For example, start an exercise program, write in your journal one day a week, balance your bank account or make sure you take your car in for a scheduled tune-up.
  7. Build up tolerance to chaos by giving yourself small out-of-control experiences. For instance, if you are typically the main driver of the family car, ask your partner to take the wheel next time you all go out together. Ask someone to interrupt you periodically, invite your partner to make the weekend plans without your input, turn over the bill paying to your partner. These will help you to learn to accept being out of control.
  8. Practice positive self-talk. It would be great if someone else did this for you, but often you have to do it for yourself. Self-talk means saying things like, "I'm going to be OK," "I'll get through this" or "Right now, I have to give myself a few minutes, then I can begin coming up with a plan to handle this."
8 tips to keep a sense of control when all goes wrong
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