Tips on wedding planning as a couple

November 3, 2015

For many couples, planning a wedding is tons of fun. But for others, it can be a bit of a hassle, especially if one partner is pulling most of the weight. Sound familiar? These tips can help you deal with wedding conflict.

Tips on wedding planning as a couple

Your relationship is more important

It can be all to easy to get caught up in wedding details. You may feel like you’re doing all the work and your partner is doing nothing. What’s worse, they don’t even seem to care.

These feelings are valid — there’s no right or wrong here. However, try not to let the wedding become more important than your relationship. It can help to keep things in perspective. The wedding is important, yes, but it will come and go. You're hopefully with your partner for life.

Do you truly want your partner to be more involved?

Be careful what you wish for. If you get your partner's input on more issues, what happens when his or her opinions clash with yours?

You may genuinely crave your partner's interest and engagement. Think about it, though. If you want the wedding your way, is it fair to ask your partner to get more involved if you would probably just discount his or her opinions?

Have an open, honest conversation

Pick a time when you wont be interrupted and sit down to talk with your partner. Explain how you envisioned the wedding planning process, and ask how your partner imagined it. Make sure to bring up financial matters.

Ask your partner if they’re satisfied with their role in planning the wedding — and why or why not.

Adjust your expectations

Depending on what your partner says, you may need to adjust your expectations. Maybe they envisioned a low-key wedding that wouldn’t require much in the way of planning. It’s possible they’re feeling resentful because you’re making it into a much bigger deal. Is there a way that the two of you can meet in the middle?

When your partner doesn’t want to participate

You’ve followed these steps, put your relationship first, had the wedding talk and adjusted your expectations. But there's been no change. What do you do?

All things equal, an apathetic partner could be a sign that you two are not ready to get married. It’s a hard conversation to have, but it could very well be one of the most important. Ask your partner if they feel ready to take this step and whether they feel there are issues that need to be worked first.

All couples have their differences, and these can become glaringly apparent during the wedding planning process. Work hard to not let this derail your relationship. How you and your partner handle difficulties together helps set the stage for your married life and the methods you use to resolve future conflicts.

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